Be The Village

Originally published by TRIBE de MAMA in October of 2016

As our generation of women begins birthing children, we are collectively realizing that we crave a real in-person village. Having a village provides our families with lives that are less stressful and more livable. Tasks like going to the grocery store and doing laundry become much less overwhelming when a fellow sister is by our side, helping us maintain a comfortable home and happy children.

In order to bring about the village and make it a true reality, we must first BE the village. We must be the women who offer help to others. We must be the women who subtly educate the people in our lives about the benefits of living naturally and compassionately. We must be the women whose confidence inspires. We must be the women whose children stand tall with gratitude and befriend all - never desiring to bring down another.

Doing this is quite simple, and it will add countless incredible facets to your own life experience on this earth. The trick is to offer authentic help before the person in need finally builds up the courage to ask for it themselves. Fortunately, there are many ways to do this.

Offer a new mother a home cooked meal and a long shower, during which you will hold and comfort her baby. Surprise your grandmother with a lunch date. Call your own mother just to say hello, and ask if she needs anything from the store since you're going anyway. If you know a family that is struggling financially, send them an anonymous gift card to Whole Foods or a local store with similar offerings. The benefits of taking such action will be profound, for both the recipient and the giver.

The village is within us, lying in wait. Let us share it. Let us trust our innate intuitiveness to guide us as we navigate our personal relationships and the barriers in our communities that encourage us to remain quietly independent in our homes. Let us bring more goodness into our world for the benefit of our children and the children of others. It is important, and it is doable.

The Spring and Its Newness

In welcoming spring, I welcome a new perspective. A new way of doing things. A new way of living. A new way of nurturing the lives I've created. I am also dutifully preparing myself, mind and body, for the births that I will be attending and the families I will be serving postpartum in the coming months. 

One of the ways I am going about doing all of the above is reading book after book after book, and almost completely ditching social media. In so doing I have found that I am learning more about birth and motherhood through reading books about nature, community and mindfulness than I have through reading books, articles and posts solely written for the purpose of teaching us how to give birth and raise children. 

Making these changes has enhanced my knowledge of self and my knowledge of our collective purpose as fellow humans. It has been made clear to me that we don't need to binge on research nearly as much as we need to simply be present and allow our natural instincts to guide us on our personal journeys. 

One of the best ways to practice staying present is to speak to others and get to know them better. Pay close attention. Allow yourself to feel what they felt. Learn from their stories and develop relationships that nurture your need to be generous. Make phone calls. Initiate time spent in each other's company. Be thoughtful about the conversations you have and treat no moment as less important than the others. Every moment is of importance. Every moment has a past, present and future state within your mind. Every moment is worthwhile.

I encourage you to read The Red Tent, Braiding Sweetgrass and A New Earth. I encourage you to read them while you take a break from social media. I encourage you to read them with a glass of wine. I encourage you to read them while your children watch a movie or play in the yard. I encourage you to read them while your baby sleeps at your breast. I encourage you to read them while you wait in waiting rooms and pump at your workplace. 

I encourage you.

I urge you to listen to the Free Birth Society podcast. I urge you to listen to this while you do the dishes. I urge you to listen to this while you fold the laundry. I urge you to listen to this while you drive in traffic. I urge you to listen to this while you organize the play area.

I urge you.

I urge you, and I send you love. I too feel the weight on our shoulders.

The current state of society is unfortunate for parents, especially mothers. We are expected to do as everyone else does and choose ways of caring for our children that have official names and definitions. We are always attempting to categorize the way we nurture, and we are always feeling that something is lacking - and that we are isolated in our weariness. But we are not.

Reading these books and listening to this podcast has reminded me that I am not alone. There are women within me, women that surround me, women that love me and women that guide me. There are women that struggle, women that inspire, women that succeed, women that fail and women that empower. And together as women we will save this world, just as soon as we recall where we come from, become our truest selves and reunite with nature and its incredible components. 

Read. Listen. Breathe. Smile. Be.